vincent0912

自己係band3 中中學生 自知英文比其他人差 但唔知自己係咩水平 拜託各位 唔該比D COMMENTS 係E 個BLOG到 THX


Question: A recent survey has indicatedthat the number of junior secondary students who smoke has been soaring overthe past few years. Write an article entitled ‘Teenage Smoking’ for your schoolmagazine explaining why more and more teenagers smoke nowadays and suggestingways to reduce teenage smoking.

Teenage Smoking

  As you may be aware, computer games aregaining popularity. But in recent years, smoking is becoming just as popular, especiallyfor the junior secondary students. Thus, in this article I would like todiscuss this issue in detail, for which has an escalating trend of the teenage smokingnowadays and to provide some useful suggestions that how to reduce theirsmoking.



From the beginning with, the bacco company isone of the main roles for the increasing number of teenagers smoking. Eventhough government has limited to bacco company from advertising their producton TV and newspaper. However, teenagers are still have a chance received theinformation of the bacco. For example, many bacco companies have sponsored thesports events, in which they always display their product or brand names in thecorner of the football field that teenagers are found by watching, so as topromote their product to teenagers indirectly.



Apart from the product promotion, the lack ofthe parental concern is also a main case of the teenage smoking. In Hong Kongthis fast pace city, most of the parents have a long working hours in everyweekday. It is common that they have no time to spend with their children.Therefore, the teenagers may be resorting to smoking as an entertainment forfun. Admittedly, no parent wants their children to do so. Therefore, theirchildren may want to through this way to gain attention from their parent.



Smoking not only damage our body or increasethe chance of getting cancer or other illness, but it is also a selfishbehavior that the smoke will be spread in the air and around this inside personmay become a second smoker. It is high time for the government and schools takeaction settling the problem. It has long been a few suggestions for them tohamper this issue.



There are many things calling out to be done.As a first step, the government should reinforce of the publicizing for why wehave to take away with the smoking, such as show the disadvantages aftersmoking like getting cancer easily on the TV channel in order to remindteenagers what is the potential danger with after smoking few years. We mustcarry out the image in their mind that smoking has a lot of negative effectswith yourself.



Secondly, for the schools with, they can makemore class activities and talks for the teenagers. AT least they can gain moreknowledge in this aspect that how to reject other people by inviting them totry it and to encourage them that it is time for them to stop this badbehavior.



As you can see teenagers are the future ofthe society. We have a responsibility to stop it and leading them to a healthylife. It is no choice that only if above all actions are done can reduceteenage smoking.

mathsidoit

Part A or B?
different parts have different marking criteria as well as word limitation.

vincent0912

actually this eassy belongs to one of the part B questions (social issue)
what is your comment with this essay? I am grateful if you could review and comment with this essay.

vincent0912

         em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46   em46

thomas_1989

其實...你篇野大致上係講d咩?(I mean d points既內容)
可唔可以用中文簡單表達? 因為真係有少少唔太明

vincent0912

POIN1 講D 人都仲係會接到公司的INFORMATION
POINT2 講D 人無PLARENT CARE, 誤把食煙係娛樂同想因食煙去拎呀媽的注意

SUGGESTION1 GOVERNMENT 要做多DPROMOTION 令佢地明白食煙的唔好
SUGGESTION2 係教育果邊做多D 好像TALKS 同 GAMES等 去要佢地點去遠離D煙仔

thomas_1989

姐係:
Point 1->青少年仍然會接收得到煙草公司既廣告、資訊
Point 2->(部份)青少年得唔到Parental care，所以希望透過smoking呢個bad habit 嚟引起家長既注意、關注
Suggestion 1->政府可以向青少年宣佈disadvantages of smoking，令佢地可以quit smoking
Suggestion 2->其實同上面個point相同 都係講教育
你有好多字都係黐埋一齊 好難睇

thomas_1989

我就幫你執左少少 你可以睇下有d咩唔同: (你最好將段野copy落word/notepad度睇，會好好多^^)

Computer games are very popular among teenagers. But in the recent years, smoking becomes more popular than computer games. It affects to the junior secondary school students seriously. So I would like to discuss about the smoking problem among teenagers in detail to explain the reason why do teenagers smoke nowadays as well as to advise how to solve the problem.


The advertisement from tobacco companies is one of the main reasons to increase the number of teenage smoking. In the early 21st century, the Hong Kong government limited the tobacco companies that their advertisements are not allow to show to the public in obvious ways. However, teenagers still can receive the information of the cigarette from several ways. For example, many tobacco companies sponsored the sports events like football games, the advertisements of cigarettes will be displayed in the events. Teenagers could notice the advertisements by watching the events, so as to the tobacco companies can promote their tobacco products to the teenagers indirectly.


Apart from the promotions from the tobacco companies, another reason that leads to the teenage smoking problem is because some teenagers are lack of parental care. Hong Kong is a busy city. A lot of parents need to work for long period of time every week. Sometimes they might ignore the daily lives of their kids.Some children may want to make their parents pay attention on them through smoking. This is another cause of teenage smoking problem.


Smoking will make our bodies become unhealthy like gaining the chance of getting cancers or different illnesses. It also destroys their personal images because the smoke from the cigarettes will spread in the air and people around the smokers will inhale the smoke from the cigarettes as well. There are few advices to reduce the problem.


Firstly,the government can publicize why we need to let teenagers get out of smoking.The government can produce some leaflets and brochures to introduce the drawbacks of smoking like getting cancers or other serious illnesses and so on.It can publicize the information by making TV shows. The government can invite some experts to explain the disadvantages of smoking and provide the ways to quit smoking. These ways can let teenage smokers understand the negative impacts of smoking and help them to quit smoking.


Secondly,the schools can held some activities or talks on smoking for the students. They can know more about the drawbacks of smoking by interacting with their classmates and teachers. They can also understand how to reject the invitation of smoking from others. Teenagers can realize why they should not smoke and the way to reject smoking.


Teenagers are the future of our society. We are responsible to stop the teenage smoking problem and lead them to have a healthy lifestyle. So we should take action to reduce the smoking problem among the teenagers to help them build a bright future.

[ 本帖最後由 thomas_1989 於 2013-12-30 05:28 PM 編輯 ]

vincent0912

thank you very much

mathsidoit

Level 2

mathsidoit

terrible lang.

lwing1018

＋ｏｉｌ

s0911765

唔好再用As you maybe aware啦
In recent years....
已經夠

bryanfu926

Deserves a level 3.
"To begin with"
"Tobacco"*****
"Stopped xxx from doing xxx"
"a chance of receiving information about cigarettes"
"In this fast-paced city of Hong Kong"
Remember only one main verb in a sentence, for the second time when you want to use one you have to put it in participle/gerund form.
Cigarettes should be the correct type of smoke as tobacco often refers to the thicker ones which produce a sweet smell.

Your English is not really too bad. Add oil in DSE

bryanwong

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