本區搜索:
Yahoo!字典

投票項目 ( 單選 ) 參與人數 6

1. 1
 

0 (0.00%)

2. 2
 

0 (0.00%)

3. 3
 

1 (16.67%)

4. 4
 

3 (50.00%)

5. 5
 

1 (16.67%)

6. 5*
 

1 (16.67%)

打印

岩岩作左篇英文作文,請幫手評分,THX

岩岩作左篇英文作文,請幫手評分,THX

題目: Studying abroad is better than studying in Hong Kong, do you agree?



    There is a trend that parents like to send their children abroad to study, most of whom agree that studying abroad is better than studying in Hong Kong. However, others’ interpretation of the statement may differ from mine, the core of which lies in the definition of one single word ‘better’. It is of no doubt that studying abroad can widen our horizon, our sight will be widen after visiting the foreign architecture. In addition, we can learn to be independent by taking care of ourselves since we need to be away from our parents. Yet, there are also benefits of studying in local.




For family relationship, students can spend more time with their parents if they are studying in a local college, which means they can maintain a close relationship with the family members. Students may face a number of problems during puberty, such as stressful school work and peer pressure. Parents can give advice to their children and solve the problem together. Family relation depends on communication, it is hard to spend much time with parents if students are studying abroad.



Surely, students will easily go astray without the guidance of parents. In some extreme situation, students may hang around with bad company and soon lose their interest in study. By studying locally, the tragedy will have less chance to be happen under the guidance of parents.



Economically, studying abroad really cost a fortune. Extra expenses like rent, electricity need to be pay if students are studying abroad and not all family could afford the high cost. The financial burden of parents will be lighter if their children are studying in Hong Kong.



Educationally, the education system in Hong Kong is well develop. The teachers would not be inferior when comparing to the foreign one. Besides, it would be easier for children to learn through their mother language. With the use of mother language, students may have a higher learning incentive if they are study in Hong Kong.



Having considered various factors from different aspects, I disagree with the statement. Instead, I will insist studying abroad and locally be of the same value. Nowhere is the better choice.
   

TOP

[隱藏]
title呢?
Educationally, the education system in Hong Kong is well develop.(well-developed)
都ok ge... 3-4啦

TOP

引用:
原帖由 ronnyroy 於 2009-5-7 11:56 PM 發表
title呢?
Educationally, the education system in Hong Kong is well develop.(well-developed)
都ok ge... 3-4啦
係咪一定要有TITLE???

TOP

在paragraph1 你話disagree 不過唔容易睇得出係 local>abord 定local=abord, 最好明示一下(最後先講就太遲)

TOP

引用:
原帖由 s041 於 2009-5-8 12:03 AM 發表
在paragraph1 你話disagree 不過唔容易睇得出係 local>abord 定local=abord, 最好明示一下(最後先講就太遲)
我老師話INTRO暗示,最後先明示,咁先好==

TOP

回覆 #5 matthewchan6 的帖子

咁樣係唔好的
intro 最後那句講左自己立場先係好d的
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

TOP

引用:
原帖由 7s711 於 2009-5-8 12:08 AM 發表
咁樣係唔好的
intro 最後那句講左自己立場先係好d的
哦,多謝提點

咁我呢篇文上唔上到5等??
有咩要改進??

TOP

引用:
原帖由 matthewchan6 於 2009-5-7 11:59 PM 發表


係咪一定要有TITLE???
你冇講係咩文體, 所以唔知要唔要title
我覺得呢篇係一篇essay所以要

TOP

引用:
原帖由 ronnyroy 於 2009-5-8 12:09 AM 發表


你冇講係咩文體, 所以唔知要唔要title
我覺得呢篇係一篇essay所以要
哦, 咁我仲有咩要改進??

TOP

引用:
原帖由 matthewchan6 於 2009-5-8 12:04 AM 發表


我老師話INTRO暗示,最後先明示,咁先好==
呢個...寫2-sided既或者得^^
2011 A-level
Phy Chem Pure*

TOP

回覆 #10 ikk 的帖子

ce 唔使寫2-sided
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

TOP

各位有冇咩意見令我改進

TOP

college=>U

TOP

tragedy will have less chance to be {happened}
there's a pt i dont sure about :
less chance = fewer chances (?)

Extra expenses like rent, electricity need to be {paid}

the education system in Hong Kong is {well-developed}

I will(不要will都ok..) insist {that} studying abroad and(用or好d?) {studying}locally {are} the same value.

Nowhere is the better choice. (nowhere可以咁用的嗎?? 我覺得怪怪的..)

有錯請指教=]

TOP

引用:
原帖由 daveng 於 2009-5-8 12:25 AM 發表
  There is a trend that parents like to send their children abroad to study, most of whom agree that studying abroad is better than studying in Hong Kong. However, others’ interpretation of the  ...
Oh Thx

But can i get a lv 5?

TOP

重要聲明:小卒資訊論壇 是一個公開的學術交流及分享平台。 論壇內所有檔案及內容 都只可作學術交流之用,絕不能用商業用途。 所有會員均須對自己所發表的言論而引起的法律責任負責(包括上傳檔案或連結), 本壇並不擔保該等資料之準確性及可靠性,且概不會就因有關資料之任何不確或遺漏而引致之任何損失或 損害承擔任何責任(不論是否與侵權行為、訂立契約或其他方面有關 ) 。